Sunday, October 3, 2010

tears...

my heart is so heavy now ... very heavy. it all started with a text message and a phone call (for me)
for others it probably started the same way. for him, it started with pain. for his mum it ended in severe, unimaginable,
 indescribable horror. A night-mare.

A class mate, a friend... a young man I grew up with... went to kindergarten with, Sunday school, school. played soccer with, sang with (a lot), went to church with,every Sunday.
We knelt together at the front of our church and were baptized together with 2 other good friends.
I watched in Gr. 6 as he mourned the death of his daddy.
Listened to him talk in church about how at the young age of 20 he felt so responsible for his mum and little sis and brother.


He's gone. Jesus took him home to heaven this morning. so unexpectedly. so very, very unexpectadly.
I am mourning the loss of a good friend.


I talked to God this morning and I asked him 'why.why.why. Why are you not fair? Why do you do things to people who have already had so much pain? why him. why now. He was to young. why.why.why?'

This is what God whispered to me-
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens.
I still do NOT understand.
I still can NOT comprehend.
But, I do know this.
There is an amazing God who is in control of ALL of us. He knows pain so well.
He carried a heavy cross up a long hill. and was silent while they nailed Him to it. He knows pain. He has felt tears.
He loves each of us. and all He wants is to hold us in His loving arms and comfort us when pain comes.

I am crying. I am mourning.
But somewhere. a mother has lost her son. a sister lost her big brother. a little boy lost his hero. a cousin lost her dear friend. a grama lost her grandson. an auntie lost her nephew... and a friend lost a friend.And they are in so so so much pain.
and they NEED your prayers. Please join me in praying for them.

(thank-you for listening to me...I needed to talk)

5 comments:

  1. Oh no!! The family will be in my thoughts and prayers! So sad. :(

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  2. I know... church this morning was SO surreal. I just thought, God won't take Randy, He just CAN'T!! But He did, for reasons we may never understand. One thing that someone said this morning impressed me, "we are made for the eternal, not for this earth. this is just temporary." so yes, we grieve for/with his mom, siblings, uncles & aunts, friends, but yet he's the lucky one because he has arrived, he's with his dad, and he faces no more earthly pain and heartache...

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  3. We grieve with Randy's family, with his community, his many friends.

    When Kyle K. died 8 years ago I remember a good friend asking God why did you take him? What he heard was "I didn't take him, I received him",

    We grieve but not without hope.

    Grieve well....

    I am so sorry....

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  4. In our sermon yesterday, referring to Randy and his sudden and untimely death, Roland mentioned a tho't he had once heard and it was this... God does things that bring Him honor... to us it doesn't make one bit of sense, he was a much needed young man, just in the prime of life...in our feebleness we leave it with God and lift Wanda and her family up to the throne of grace and surround them with our love...thanks for sharing your heart, jenn... we cry, we talk, we pray and it brings a little relief, but for the most part our thot's turn to his dear mom, sister, and brother... HOW will they cope?? And, only God knows....

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  5. That was a lovely post, Jen. You said it well. Our finite minds can not understand God's ways or God's timing...but right now...we griebe with and for Wanda and her family...for his friends..an entire community is in mourning...and we have no words because they just don't seem enough. We just talk to God. JP

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