Sunday, August 12, 2012

{ no title }

senseless pain.
{it seems}
tears falling on  a bony cheek
  down her chin.
landing with a soft plop on her foot.
   Wondering
why?
    the difference
the sorrow
        the tears
the exhaustion
of just trying to be.
           tired out
of being who
   she isn't.
reaching, groping.
in darkness, confusion,
anguish, pride,
happiness even sometimes...
laughter too!
   longing,
longing for so
     very much more
longing for that assurance
that this is
where she belongs.
     that even though things are
different.
   culturally, physically, emotionally
that it is home.
    for.right.now.
'one day'
She wonders and as she thinks out loud
      she whispers to herself
'one sad. happy. sweet day
at.a.time.
         That's all He asks.
nothing more.
    One minute of tears here.
one second of joy!
        one hour of wondering....
But- never worrying about
      tomorrow.
               For He.
He is already there.
 in that tomorrow.
 and He tells her,
do not think about it...
              So, she tries.
she tries her best.
    to focus.
on one.day.
       one single day at a time.
On waking up to the sun.
    to being thankful for many
small blessings...
    to waking up to only one day.
Not to tomorrow.
            but. this day, alone.
She tells herself as
    the lights of evening turn on
in the darkened streets outside
   under the black sparkling sky...
she tells her self.
      that she will sleep.
For this day. the only one she was asked to live
is over. 
    and tomorrow will be another one.
another day.
but she need not think about it...
    She need not think about the day in 6 days...
or the day next year...
 for it will drain her.
   of her joy. of her contentment.
and like a blanket wrapped around
words flow over her
telling her-
 she only needs to find that
    contentment for one day.
and then!
     yes, she knows for certain
that she will survive
   and she can find joy!
   She can. because ...
He has already been there.
{my mantra. I made this little sign as a gift. and than.
I just knew I needed it. It sits in my kitchen and I see it daily}
  

 



11 comments:

  1. jenn-my heart hurts for you...love your way of writing, it's awesome..get hubby to take you to the beach today and soak up and sun and water and forget... love ya

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    1. :) I like your idea!!!we are actually just leaving to go camping for a few days! It will be delightful I am sure:)

      Thank you...

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  2. I love your poem (even if it's sad)...
    Love you, too. xoxo

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    1. i know. You always love me :) that makes me smile every time!!!

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  3. It makes me feel bad when you're sad! :( Hope you enjoy the camping trip... we LOVE our annual campout with friends in October! I am so jealous of my folks... they get to come out there and spend 2 MONTHS! Wish I could come along!!! I would love to get to know you! :)

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    1. ya, sad... It's this streak of melancholy. I have in me that gets me to write this kind of stuff!! I tried to decide if I should even post it cause I didn't want every one to think I was just depressed right away:) (although it was a bad day,never the less)
      But it seems when I do post this stuff its waht touches the most hearts so I did it solely with the purpose that it could maybe help some one:)
      yep, shall be good to get to know more of the family. :) come along!!

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  4. This is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And such a wonderful reminder for all of us!

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    Replies
    1. thanks Deli. thank you so much for telling me something so sad sounding is beautiful... stay strong!♥

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  5. beatiful poem jenn... hope u had a good time camping!! luv u always!!!

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