{thoughts}

This blog is mine. My  place to share my thoughts, feelings, whatever... whatever is on my heart, my mind. be it sad, happy, lonely, morbid, goofy, cute, or convicting!  This is my place to write and to 'let go'. So, if anything that I write bothers you, hurts, offends you- I am sorry. But maybe than you can just step aside, instead of judging or being critical! Because this a safe place for me, I am going to write what is on my heart, and not worry about who or what reads it. k? all clear? great! Cause I have more to write! xo

She stands back,watching the crowd; laughing,talking. Wishing, longing, wanting, to be a part, to be one with them. A tear slips by. She bites her lip till she tastes the bitter taste of blood, trying in vain to stop the onslaught of emotions overwhelming her.
"what, God.? what is it you want me here for? Why, here? Why now? You say there is a reason. A time and place for everything. But seriously. This? this emotion. this fear. this pride? How can I give in? How can I forsake it all. You chose wrong. There are certainly better candidates to be here. Ones that fit in. Ones that are already here! Really. Why am I here? To be a friend? Yes, to be a wife! But come on! Surely there is more?
I can be a friend. But my qualifications don't seem enough. I love kids but there does not seem to be any in need right here. so. what? I'll be waiting to hear from you..."
and with that she resigned, her turmoiled thoughts, and fell asleep. And when she woke up, she felt a lot better!;)

So part of this is fiction and part of it comes straight from my heart. But, just so you know, this didn't literally happen!