Friday, March 11, 2011

{you wanna know how I know that it is spring?}

b-b-b-c-c-ause ... those those... yes. those LIZARDS. those ones. those ones I HATE. are back!!! and they are grosser and uglier than ever before. and I just can.not.stand.them.

And you know why I can't stand them even more? I'll tell you.

The other day, while I was working with James, we walked through a gate into someones back yard and he started grinning...and smirking... and I asked him. Why grinnest thou??
and he sayeth unto me. because YOU just walked smack by a lizard and you did not see it.
and I thought to mine self. NO. NO!!!!. lizards are supposed to still be DEAD. not living not breathing or eating or freaking me out. but DEAD. They are not supposed to even be alive yet. Its waaaaaaaaay to cold for them. I wanted to get all my gardening/outdoor stuff done while they were dead. NOPE. they can.not.be.alive.

but. I kept walking. and yes. there was ANOTHER ONE.  and it was so little, and brown, and, and UGLY.
 and I did a small shriek (I couldn't scream out loud as were are supposed to be cleaning this pool for this older lady and , ya..) and I said James ANOTHER ONE.  (and now this is where I start to shiver and shudder and tuck my legs under by rear-end in a lame attempt to  keep lizards out of my house and up my legs)                                      

So my 'super-man' tries to scare away the reptile. but, alas, tis ALL IN VAIN. He splashes it with water and all it does is SIT THERE AND STARE. stare. honestly. lizards are not supposed to stare when you dump water on them. They are supposed to FLEE. But no. he sits.he stares.he moves not.
And this is where I am totally freaking out but I soon start freaking out 'worser' because 'super-man' than take s the skimmer net and tries to move him and he bumps his head. and all it does.is this. His head just goes. FLIP-FLOP.you know how when you are holding a child and they are so relaxed everything just flip-flops around. ya . fah-lip. fah-lop. and he continues to STARE. AND HE STILL DOES NOT MOVE.  So now I am going crazy but I continue to start to clean the pool, and this time am I ever glad I have eyes behind my head. other wise I am not sure I could have finished that job.
But just so you know when we left... He had dropped his head so it rested on the concrete. otherwise he just sat there scared silly of ME!!!!!. dumb thing. very dumb little thing.go back to your cave of sleep and stay there until  the year 2032.     that  would be veeeeery fine with me.. very fine.indeed.                                                                                                                                                        

14 comments:

  1. oh,my heart is pounding,just reading this.arent us females silly?m

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  2. LOL Jenn. It is not funny I know but how you write it is!! I can just see you... I would be freaked out, too, believe me.

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  3. I love these little critters...I think they're adorable! We had green ones in Florida and I loved them :) I laughed at how you described your encounter! But i'm not laughing that you're scared of them...I'm TERRIFIED of spiders and I know that's ridiculous :)

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  4. your other big sisMarch 12, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    oh jenni i share the same fear of lizards as you do!!! I remember the days in Guatemala when i had to have my bed a foot away from the wall just in case one decided to join me in bed:( and the day one was in the shower the same time i was!!! eeeekkkk..... Can't believe i lived thru those days!! love you

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  5. Jenn this is so funny! And made funnier yet, because of this! We were in Nashville a week ago today and I came this close (Im holding my finger and thumb together) to buying not one but two! Of those little lizards!!! They were soooo cute! But I couldn't quite see spending $35 a piece plus $60 for the cage....

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  6. Wow i can feel with you!!!!! I am feelin cold chills as type this!! luv reading ur blog :)

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  7. Oh, Jennieee dear...lizards are SO cute...I love it when they scoot around our back fence..and the mocking birds are singing their cheery tunes....BUT, I do fear something and you know what it is, so I guess we're even...
    Wish you were here today, I invited you:)

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  8. ok so I see the majority agrees with me;) but seriously,deli. you are nuts. sorry but honestly;) you were going to BUY ONE??? wow. lol! you just come over to my house and I will GIVE them to you;)

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  9. Weeeellll, this was not your ordinary lizard! Im not even sure what he was called, but nevertheless, in the lizard family! He was WAY too cute! With his little- what do you call them- hands???? Up on the side of his aquarium or whatever that was keeping him a prisoner... :) LOL!!

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  10. And besides... he was a baby! Not a big one... I might change my mind about the big ones! LOL agen!!

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  11. Yikeroees!!!thats all im sayn . Jabk

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  12. It could have been worse... it could have been a snake.

    OR... it could have been really worse and you could have found a real dead lizard at the end of the spin cycle in your washer. True story.

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  13. ok Vivienne. finding one in my washer would have been waaaaaaaaaay worse! ;)

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  14. Such a funny post!! I agree I do not like those little lizards either!!

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