The ‘and’ that binds

I’ve known for years it would happen, eventually. I even had a vision from God about it a few years ago in the shower while the sun was beaming in the window. Looking back I wonder what God was doing when he gave that to me. Because none of it happened like that vision showed, so maybe it was more a gift from Him to start preparing my heart for what was to come. That’s what I’ve concluded. We can talk more about that a different day though. 

  

When he first called me and told me about this lady who’d invited him to sit with her at the coffee shop, and then how he talked & continued to talk about her, I wondered. I had a lot of wonderings actually throughout the next year. Some of them were skepticisms and some were curious little thoughts, some made me smile. Who, what, where, why? Find friends tracking him on my iphone helped answer a few questions from time to time. A day at the Omaha zoo answered a few more and as time went on we realized soon that she wasn’t against a good prank & she loves shoes. (I mean who doesn’t.) She is gracious & kind, and giving compliments is her gift. To top it all off, she was seeming to add some sparkle back into my dads life. 

 I can’t tell you how many times, sitting around late at night we’d have this conversation, Child and dad. Dad asking- but how will I know? How will I ever find the right one?

 Me telling him over & over- just look for a friend, don’t look for a wife. 

 I have no idea if in the end he took my advice, but I like to think he did. (Me- laughing) but it seems to me it’s what happened. This friendship built on the common ground of shared grief & Jesus, turned into love. So they decided to get married. 

  

 A few weeks ago we found ourselves in the muddiest mud I’ve been in for a long while, in Kansas. Our large entourage made their way to a middle-of-no-where, gracious farming community surrounded by harvested corn fields speckled with snow. There we met some new to us friendly faces. Faces that we learned the names of and then they turned into some sort of framily? Isn’t that what you call friends who are family? Maybe not, but I think it’s cute. 

  My siblings, our spouses & children’s headcount is that of a small congregation when we get together & sometimes I fear that our size makes us bit overwhelming in situations like this. Truth be told, we are sometimes overwhelmed. We all have fears, we all cry over things we can’t change & we snort laugh when things get awkward or we are nervous. I think that’s one of the beautiful things that happened that weekend. The realization that we’re all more alike than we are different. Same & different. The ‘and’ brings all of us together & creates a sort of bond, a story all of its own. One we can all relate to. Scared & hopeful. Nervous & brave with a shaky smile. Smiling & weeping. Crying & laughing. Strangers & friends. Young & old. Silence & a little girl announcing she needs to poop. (Of course it was my child, in the middle of the ceremony). Sadness & happiness. Grief & joy so closely woven together it’s impossible to tell them apart. Unfamiliar & family. Overwhelm & the feeling of being literally held up by prayers. Unknown & Gods got this. Joy & grief. Loss & gain. Grief & love. Heaven & earth. Dad & Miss Jan.