Mothers Day letter

Mum- Oh how we miss your gentle presence in our physical lives. Thank you for being the peace loving, God fearing mother we needed. Would we truly know what love was had it not been for you? I remember as a child when I was grumping about Jon getting to sit while us girls did the dishes & serve dessert & you told me- it’s a life of service. You give & give & give some more. It’s how she loved her life. The way you loved & served Dad is my gauge for myself as a wife & mom. I am always attaining to be more like you. Respectful & kind. My gentle voice has a ways to go before I am like you though. (Maybe I got that voice from Dad. 🙃 ) Always measuring my parenting by how you did it. How you had confidence in us, how you let me be me, even when I was the opposite of you. How you were firm but never rough or angry. How you let us be kids & make a mess but we always had to clean up before Dad came in for supper. Teaching us respect with out us even knowing it. He was your King and we knew it. There was never a day (except when you were sick) that you didn’t meet Dad at the door with a kiss- and we noticed in case you thought we didn’t.  Thank you for being an example of a Godly mother. Thank you for praying with us & teaching us to pray. Thank you for kneeling by the couch with me and helping me pray ‘the sinners prayer’. I feel the echoes of your prayers still today.  Thank you for being an example of love. For loving everyone around you unconditionally. The people that came into our home, everyone you met, the many nurses & doctors & room mates that felt your care & love, even though you were going through the hell that is cancer & transplant, they saw the love of Jesus shining in your eyes. I remember some of them so well because of the stories you would tell us about their lives. I know they will never forget you. A friend told me once, when I told her I just wish my mom was here to give me advice - when you sit down in the quiet, I think you know what advice she’d give you. It’s true, I hear your voice in my head often. The veil is thin between heaven & earth & I know your presence is closer than we sometimes realize. 

 We miss you immensely. Sometimes the pain of how final death is, is suffocating. But we lift our heads and carry on, knowing heaven is our home too! Again looking at your example of smiling & being brave even on the hardest days of your life. 

 The girls talk of you often. Hadley, always confused about where this heaven place is that Grammy lives. Tessa bravely goes on. Your death brought more trauma into her little life than any of us ever dreamed. Your voice of wisdom has went over & over in my head many times when I’m feel weak & undone in the area of parenting. I know that you would be proud of us for listening to her fears, & helping her heal & grow. Knowing the trauma you went through as a child has spurned me on to make sure she feels seen & heard by the ones who love her most. 

 Thank you God for giving me an actual Angel mother here on earth, please honor her on this Mothers Day from me down here. 

 Your daughter.